Book Review: The Great Sex Rescue
The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended
Authors: Sheila Wray Gregoire, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and Joanna Sawatsky
Rating: 5/5
Who is this book for:
Evangelical Christian couples, both married and premarital
Christian singles wanting to rescue their own beliefs around sex and sexuality
This book blew me away!
As a marriage therapist, I have read countless books written for the public, and for Christian couples specifically, many of which are discussed in this book, and none compare.
The Great Sex Rescue is exactly that: a redemptive text for Christian couples needing hope and healing in their sexual intimacy.
This book accomplishes 3 things:
Uncovers the reality of thousands of Christian wives’ experiences with sex using reliable research methods such as a survey with 20,000 women and follow-up focus groups. Their findings show the Evangelical world has been perpetuating and preaching some toxic messages about sex, sexuality, purity, and even sexual responsibility to both men and women.
Examines and critiques best-selling Evangelical marriage resources like Love & Respect, Every Man’s Battle, His Needs, Her Needs, and the Focus on the Family radio show and identifies the toxic and helpful messages within. Overwhelmingly, these resources were more toxic than helpful, with Love & Respect being the very worst. The one book they identify as mostly healthy and helpful was Boundaries in Marriage.
Rescues and reframes these toxic messages about sex into something more helpful and offers couples activities to help them restore trust, healthy sexual communication, and intimacy in their sexual relationship. This part of their book is critical. It’s not enough to simply point out the problems. We have to offer a better way, and they do.
The best thing about this book, from my perspective as a Christian marriage and family therapist, is that it is both theologically and theoretically sound. It aligns the actual truth of Christian Scripture with the latest research on healthy sexual attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs. It also reinforces a healthier sexual ethic and calls men to see themselves with a higher value than they have been led to believe they possess.
Specifically, they critique a few toxic messages men are taught even as children that have devastating consequences such as “men are just animals who can’t control their urges,” and “bounce your eyes.” Both of these (and other) messages undermine the truth that in Christ, every part of a person is being sanctified, including their sexuality. Men are not “people made in the image of God but are animals in their sexuality”. No. Every part of us is made in the image of God, and our sexuality must also be submitted to His sanctifying grace. Men are more than a sum of their urges. Women are not responsible for men’s sexual purity. Wives are not responsible for their husband’s sexual fidelity. Men and women both are responsible for their own sexual thoughts and behaviors.
I love that this book offers options that couples can do together after each chapter that can help them move toward health in that particular area of their sexual relationship.
If you’re still wondering if this book is worth reading: IT IS!
I will be recommending this book to every Christian I meet, especially the Christian couples I see in counseling for both marital and premarital issues.
Note: I was not paid in any form to provide this review or endorse this book.
